Last night Ben and I went to a party for another teacher that I work with. The party was fantastic and I met some more great people. She is the Spanish teacher at my school so finally for the first time in 6 months, I got to eat a spicy meal. Hot...Spicy! From the chips to the Margarita… it was heaven. We got to the party at 11pm, just my boy and I and we got home at 2:30am. Bernard walked in the door, sat on the couch and fell asleep immediately and I carried him to bed. He ran for 3 hours playing soccer in the street with 2 big boys, then my friend Tiana started in. Bernard learned himself some Fu-te-bol (Brazilian soccer) last night. He wanted me to watch him play so he could show me his skills, he makes me so proud.
One more thing... I was sitting there with my friends and Ben came running to me crying. Of course I asked him "what’s wrong"? He fell down playing soccer with the big kids...so I knew 1/2 of the tears were from falling down but I could tell his pride was hurt as well. Bernard tries so hard to get along with big kids; he has no interest in boys his age if there is a 6-13 year old around. Well I took him aside and wiped his tears and got him ready to get back out there. Apparently a few of my friends were watching me and said “Jill you are such a good mom”. “Really, why”? They said because most moms would have fanned the flames of his emotions and babied him and they thought I was great because I hugged him and sent him on… truly I knew that this is what he really wanted. But you know what? I may not have shown it but in that moment when I steered my child back into life, I took on all of his pain inside my heart. My whole body was feeling the same emotion that he brought to me and I soaked it up like a sponge in water. He ran off ready to take on the world again and I let the emotion dissolve through me. At that moment I think I knew what being a mom was all about. It is a perfect balance of helping to lift the burden of life from my children so that they can move forward, making sure that I don’t take away the learning experience that the child must have and at the same time finding the strength to sacrifice my moment, at any time for my child. They were right and I know it now, I AM a good mom.
One more thing... I was sitting there with my friends and Ben came running to me crying. Of course I asked him "what’s wrong"? He fell down playing soccer with the big kids...so I knew 1/2 of the tears were from falling down but I could tell his pride was hurt as well. Bernard tries so hard to get along with big kids; he has no interest in boys his age if there is a 6-13 year old around. Well I took him aside and wiped his tears and got him ready to get back out there. Apparently a few of my friends were watching me and said “Jill you are such a good mom”. “Really, why”? They said because most moms would have fanned the flames of his emotions and babied him and they thought I was great because I hugged him and sent him on… truly I knew that this is what he really wanted. But you know what? I may not have shown it but in that moment when I steered my child back into life, I took on all of his pain inside my heart. My whole body was feeling the same emotion that he brought to me and I soaked it up like a sponge in water. He ran off ready to take on the world again and I let the emotion dissolve through me. At that moment I think I knew what being a mom was all about. It is a perfect balance of helping to lift the burden of life from my children so that they can move forward, making sure that I don’t take away the learning experience that the child must have and at the same time finding the strength to sacrifice my moment, at any time for my child. They were right and I know it now, I AM a good mom.
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