12.27.2010
I looked into the fridge for something to eat and I found wine.
Today I woke up feeling depressed probably because I have been in the house for too long without something to do. Sometime I feel like I am wasting my life just sitting here doing nothing. I have always had a million things to do, so much that I think I was just as annoying being too busy. I have tried to tap into a quieter me, but that me gets bored easily. I find myself tied to electronic devises for fun, now I am pretty much down to the computer. The first day, I blew my speakers in the 220v outlet and yesterday Bernard blew up our Mario Brothers. Sucks for us!
So, Today I had Rodrigo take us to the park, which was nice but I had a scowl on my face the whole time, then we went to the Mall and I ate McDonalds and drove the car home for the first time. This did make me feel better and now all I need is a huge Coors Light Draft and Chicken Wings with a side of Blue Cheese. I miss America, but I have lost about 10 lbs.
I looked into the fridge for something to eat and I found wine. When I used to get sad at home I would grab food. The fridges are not full of snacks here; they are full of meals that need to be cooked in order to eat. I haven’t really had a real kitchen in 6 months to call my own and I don’t feel like starting now.
Um, wine will do or else I will have to go into the other house and not talk to anyone. Not talking is just as uncomfortable as talking to someone and not knowing what to say. So, I will just feed myself the wine for a snack today and consider myself lucky.
The thunder is so loud today. I have mentioned it before but I must again because it is really loud. There has been rolling thunder for 30 minutes now.
I think the hard part is that Rodrigo has to do everything for me. I can’t even help him but stick my big nose in his way of making decisions. This must be really hard for him too. Since I was feeling depressed today, he said “seems like I may have made a mistake by taking you all here” and I said “yeah, sometimes it feels that way”.
I don’t mean it though, I am so glad to have this opportunity and 85% of the time I am beside myself with happiness about being here. Ben asked me last night before bed if I liked Brasil or America better. I asked him what he likes and he said he missed America. When I asked him why? It was for the same reason that I do- the language barrier. I am thinking it must have been because we just Skyped his Grandpa and possibly because we took a walk to the Padaria and I told ben that we shouldn’t talk English out on the street by ourselves. He ended it saying that he just wants to go to school and I understand. He may be 4 and pretty well adjusted, however can someone ever really adjust to living in a foreign country?
