Sometimes we choose to suffer or to let one suffer because we want to hold on but the real strength is in letting go.
Today, I let my “Tiddles” pass on and I had to remember my strength and beliefs as I was emotionally holding on to her and questioning myself as I wondered if I was making the right choices as if I would not do the right thing. I was on the other side of euthanasia and remembered back to my time as a vet tech and had to recall all of the time I saw animals suffering because their owners would not let go. The only way that I could feel strength was to go outside of myself and ask “what would you do if it were someone else in your shoes?” Thank god I have been a level headed person because that is what I sought, my strength came from believing and trusting myself to guide me when I was too emotional to see straight. I guess I remembered that “death” is not scary; it is peaceful. I remembered that the body is only a vessel for the soul and it was her soul that blessed my life. And mostly I remembered that we all come from the same place and we return as it is our journey to do so.
Today, I let my “Tiddles” pass on and I had to remember my strength and beliefs as I was emotionally holding on to her and questioning myself as I wondered if I was making the right choices as if I would not do the right thing. I was on the other side of euthanasia and remembered back to my time as a vet tech and had to recall all of the time I saw animals suffering because their owners would not let go. The only way that I could feel strength was to go outside of myself and ask “what would you do if it were someone else in your shoes?” Thank god I have been a level headed person because that is what I sought, my strength came from believing and trusting myself to guide me when I was too emotional to see straight. I guess I remembered that “death” is not scary; it is peaceful. I remembered that the body is only a vessel for the soul and it was her soul that blessed my life. And mostly I remembered that we all come from the same place and we return as it is our journey to do so.
It was a beautiful 16 years with my kitty and I am so thankful for every hug, every complaint, every time she made me move so that she could sleep on my pillow, and for her ability to love me unconditionally. “Casi”/”Tiddles” lived her life with me and for me and the best thing I could eventually do for her was to let her go. With love there is peace.
