"Looking Good Limits My Life"

12.30.2010

“Looking Good Limits My Life”

This is a quote I saw here in a Magazine in Sao Paulo.  In Brazil, there may be more plastic surgery in the world, but women are comfortable with their bodies and society with them.  I think the reason why Brazil is deemed to have the most beautiful people in the world is because when you go to the beaches you see everyone feeling good about themselves.   Large, small, too large for that bikini…you see it all.  It is amazing.  The other day my sister in law bought me a dress.  It is really beautiful and it is a halter top, one that I couldn’t wear a bra with.  I put it on without a bra and honestly it looked good.  However, I would not wear it in the U.S. because I feel that it would show an inappropriate amount of cleavage.  Here there is no such thing as an inappropriate amount of cleavage or an inappropriate amount of tummy fat.  In Brazil you wear what you have and what you feel good in, old, ugly, too small, inappropriate.  I have seen it all, as Rodrigo has always said “for every dog there is a bone”.

Looking good limits my life?  Hmm...  I think this is something to ponder for yourself.  I know what it means to me. 

Married to a Man

12.29.2010

Married to a Man

There are a million good reasons to be married.  However one problem about being married to a man in a foreign county is that he translates what he hears.  You know when you’re talking to your husband and he nods and agrees with you, but you know he didn’t listen at all?  This is the same amount of information that gets translated for me. 

Headed out!

We are going to the beach today to get away for a while.  There was a lot of drama today!  So long and Happy New Year!.

I looked into the fridge for something to eat and I found wine.

12.27.2010

I looked into the fridge for something to eat and I found wine.

Today I woke up feeling depressed probably because I have been in the house for too long without something to do.  Sometime I feel like I am wasting my life just sitting here doing nothing.  I have always had a million things to do, so much that I think I was just as annoying being too busy.  I have tried to tap into a quieter me, but that me gets bored easily.  I find myself tied to electronic devises for fun, now I am pretty much down to the computer.  The first day, I blew my speakers in the 220v outlet and yesterday Bernard blew up our Mario Brothers.  Sucks for us! 

So, Today I had Rodrigo take us to the park, which was nice but I had a scowl on my face the whole time, then we went to the Mall and I ate McDonalds and drove the car home for the first time.  This did make me feel better and now all I need is a huge Coors Light Draft and Chicken Wings with a side of Blue Cheese.  I miss America, but I have lost about 10 lbs.

I looked into the fridge for something to eat and I found wine.  When I used to get sad at home I would grab food.  The fridges are not full of snacks here; they are full of meals that need to be cooked in order to eat.  I haven’t really had a real kitchen in 6 months to call my own and I don’t feel like starting now. 

Um, wine will do or else I will have to go into the other house and not talk to anyone.  Not talking is just as uncomfortable as talking to someone and not knowing what to say.  So, I will just feed myself the wine for a snack today and consider myself lucky. 

The thunder is so loud today.  I have mentioned it before but I must again because it is really loud.  There has been rolling thunder for 30 minutes now.   

I think the hard part is that Rodrigo has to do everything for me.  I can’t even help him but stick my big nose in his way of making decisions.  This must be really hard for him too.  Since I was feeling depressed today, he said “seems like I may have made a mistake by taking you all here” and I said “yeah, sometimes it feels that way”. 

I don’t mean it though, I am so glad to have this opportunity and 85% of the time I am beside myself with happiness about being here.  Ben asked me last night before bed if I liked Brasil or America better.  I asked him what he likes and he said he missed America.  When I asked him why?  It was for the same reason that I do- the language barrier.  I am thinking it must have been because we just Skyped his Grandpa and possibly because we took a walk to the Padaria and I told ben that we shouldn’t talk English out on the street by ourselves.  He ended it saying that he just wants to go to school and I understand.  He may be 4 and pretty well adjusted, however can someone ever really adjust to living in a foreign country?

My first Brazilian Christmas

12.25.2010

My first Brazilian Christmas

Ok, where do I even start?  So the day is like every other.  I wake up and it doesn’t feel special it doesn’t feel like Christmas Eve, you know the night before Christmas.  Remember I don’t even get past Good Morning and a few other conversations around here so I did not know if anything was going to happen today.  I usually sit on the porch at the large Granite picnic table by the BBQ and write on my computer, this is where I spend a lot of my down time.   Two things on this subject, 1^st Christmas is a feeling for me.  It is a time of the year when everything is decorated and holiday music is everywhere.  I love Christmas music.  I usually buy a new Christmas CD for me and the kids Early November and if it is really good we listen to it till March.  I love the feeling of Christmas.  There is a feeling in the air, the first snow fall, the right to make Chili whenever I think about it, the Christmas lights down town.  What a feeling, however with this feeling there is the 2^nd thing, it is also a season for spending too much money, overly high and dramatic expectations and seeing family who you choose to only see one time a year.  Then there is the guilt of overspending, not buying enough and the rush to buy.  Now we are getting into my Consumption problem, so let us move on.

Oh, Christmas Eve in Brasil.  So, I am sitting at my compute with Ben and I am asked 3 times if I want to go to take a shower.  I’m like, uh No!  I take my shower right before bed because here you sleep in somewhat of sauna conditions.  Then here comes Rodrigo, Fresh and Clean.  It is like 9pm now and the kids are getting hungry.  Rodrigo says why don’t you get freshened up for dinner.  Still in the dark, I start to wonder why?  Of course people are arriving and changing for Christmas dinner.  The women are in nice dresses; even my son has cologne on.  Ok so I get ready and by 10, we are sitting down for an amazing dinner.  Like a 3 Chicken dinner, the wine comes out and I run for the shower.  I decide to bring down my Xmas music and camera and really enjoy myself.  They even had a toast to my first Xmas in Brasil.  I guess I did see the ladies making dishes all week that we never ate. 

Today we woke and had a BBQ, Santa did not come but last night the kids got a gift from their Aunt.  Thank god they didn’t ask.  I guess I did feel a little guilty about not carrying on that tradition but it did feel good to not have to buy anything this year.  We are having a “secret amigo exchange” for New Years and this I know is going to be a big deal.  I will try to be prepared.  Happy Christmas!