A day at Home in the Rain can Really get you down!

11.20,2010

A day at Home in the Rain can Really get you down!

I’m fucking bored.  One day without something to do and I completely fall apart.   Seriously, I thought it would happen before my period but I am like 2 days in.  Oh…. and I am drinking wine.  Maybe I am telling you this because I just because I don’t want to sound too bipolar, Right girls?  I am hoping that you are all nodding and giving me the thumbs up?  

Still, not crying as I know that going home is not the answer, maybe that is why.  Maybe I am falling apart because I am so f-ing bored today that I actually looked up CNN to listen to the crazy people trying to dispute the president’s birth record.  REALLY People????  

I don’t believe he calls the shots, but how much can you blame on one man?  WTF.  Now don’t think I am on a pedestal preaching from a foreign land.  There is f-ing shit here too.  Like that everything is expensive and f-ing cheap.  Now I am laughing at the fact that I am acting like a teenager and “ My parents Just don’t understand”  thanks Will Smith. 

I just hope “my husband can understand”. LOL

Ok, well this is getting me nothing but a 1000 laughs.  Love you all and I am not coming home just going to try to get busy with life cuz a day at home in the rain can really get you down. 

Rio 911

You may have heard of the War going on in Rio de Janiero.  It is a war between the Civil Police and the Drug Cartel.  You may also have heard that the Olympics and the World Cup are in Danger of being moved due to the violence in Rio.  1st off, we are fine where we are.  There is little violence where we are in comparison.  The Drug Cartel is huge in Rio de Janiero and is progressively getting worse.  Actually, Brasil has been cleaning up the Favelas (poor areas) for some time now and now a cleansing is long overdue in Rio.  The drug cartel has taken over an area let’s say close to the size of Fort Collins.  In this area police are not allowed in.  There is a line and if police cross it they will be shot at.  The problem is that there are a lot of civilians who live there that cannot get the help of the police if needed.  There only hope for justice is up to the drug cartel.  The cartel has taken care of the people but it is up to their digression as how to handle the problems.  Finally the police, the Government and the people have had it.  A week or so ago the Cartel wanted to show the police who was in charge and crossed the lines into the city and began to burn Busses and Cars.  Like 300.  Then 3days ago the police gave all civilians a chance to get out and for the cartel to surrender by midnight.  Those who did not leave or surrender are now going to be cleansed.  As of now the police are clearing out the Favelas one by one in hope to create a more peaceful place for the people and tourists.  Rio is a beautiful city and a very popular tourist destination.  I want to go. 

Leroy Merlins

Yep, the home depot of Brasil.  I have taken for granted the ability to redesign a room when I wanted.  In Brasil you better think about what you are buying and buy it once.  We went to Leroy Merlins to get stuff for our bathroom/shower room.  A small plastic basket like 8 x 8 was $8.00.  A matching toothbrush holder, soap holder for bar soap and toilet scrubber (second to the cheapest) totaled $70.00.  Makes you think.  I used to change my bathroom all of the time.  All of the products are made in Brasil though.  Lots of cheap but economy stimulating shit here.  Next time I go to the U.S.A,  I am bringing back some shit from China. :0... kind of funny? :)

Its Whats inside the Gate that Counts

11.28.2010

Its Whats inside the Gate that Counts

Today I met the rest of the family.  Actually, I think I may never meet them all.  Va Carmelina is in town.  She is Rodriogs grandma and everyone was there to spend time together.  One of Rodrigos Cousins "Tia Bea" has twin girls Gabi''s age.  It was so fun to watch them play.   Gabriela, Marina & Sophia. I also met a cousin of Rodrigos who looks exactly like him from under the eyes down.  However Rodrigo has a bit bigger lips.  :)
 I was very overwhelmed today when I arrived, I almost cried.  Everyone was talking and I was so confused.  Soon, I calmed down though and had time to talk with everyone. 
I have felt overwhelmed now for a couple of days and like to hide out a bit.  Steph gave me an I Pod Touch and I have been listening to music and playing the Old Mario Brothers.  Got to level 8-2, I have always wanted to get the Princess, maybe I will finally have the time. :)
Anyway, If you were outside the gate looking in today you would have seen a lot of good people eating good food and taking time for each other.

My first play date!

11.27.2010

We took the kids to a great park today.  Ben was playing with a couple of kids and their mom knew a bit of english.  We chatted and we are going to meet again at the park next week.  She is going to bring one of her english speaking friends too.  I am excited to meet some people outside of the family who speak english.  Oh and I start School monday.  Moving on up... 

Recap & Beans & Rice

11.26.2010

Recap
There are not too many dogs on the street, but there are many dogs behind the gates barking when people walk by. 
You can catch a buzz in Brasil, however it only lasts while you are drinking.  When you stop it stops!

Beans & Rice
Seriously, it is everyday.  Muinto Bom.  However, I think it may get a bit boring.  What will happen when I have to cook for my family everyday on my own?  Will I make Beans & Rice.  Seems like a lot of F-ing Work.

Oh Beautiful Simple People.

11.25.2010

Oh Beautiful Simple People.

Did you know that like 85% of the women do not wear make-up?  No wonder why Rodrigo likes me. 

Oh Zhill?,What to do, Oh shit Moist Heat! & I have to explore a lot of my initial thoughts.

11.24.2010

Oh Zhill?   

Pretty sure I was laughed at for trying to put my 2 year old to bed at 8:30.  Gabi wont sleep anymore as we have people coming at 8 these days.  Here it is 11:30 and the Gabi is wide awake.  You know moms always know best even if it isn’t your kid and old saying from America.   Last night I had to finally go to the bathroom and just when I thought everyone was asleep, Rodrigo’s mom was knocking at the bathroom door... Oh Zhill?   asking me to leave the lights on in Portuguese.  It is hard enough to understand the language barrier and then the barrier of the bathroom door.  

Rodrigo’s mom knows everything about everyone.   She already knows as much as you could know about me if you were washing & folding my clothes, cleaning and straightening up my stuff.   Which makes me a little nervous.  :)  I take off our dirty clothes and put them in the corner of the room and before 7 they are gone.    I cant really complain though as I am glad that I don’t have to do it for a while.

Oh by the way, I am PMSing.

What to do.

I have an apt. with a Teacher tomorrow to learn Portugese.  2 classes a week for 100 Real.  Then for exchange they asked me if I would like to teach English to kids.   Hmm.  Like $20-$30 reis a hour.  This is a significant salary by the way.  10 days in and 2 job offers.  Liking it.    I will take it of course if all goes well tomorrow.  The opportunities are really endless here for English speakers especially if you lived in America.  People are very curious about America and like to listen to our conversatios and try to make out what we are saying.  Rodrigo likes to say embarrassing stuff out loud for a kick, I still think there must be something who knows what we are saying. 

Spent 3 hours in the bank today.  You walk in and take a number to see the teller and there are two guys only behind the desk to help you with accounts.  We went inside took a number waited 45 minutes to set up an account, then waited 45 more minutes with a new number to make a deposit.  The best part about it was that the air conditioner actually worked really well.  From now on when I am hot, I am going to withdraw money from the teller and sit and wait. 

Oh shit Moist Heat!

I am sweaty and my skin is not really happy with the fact that I never really ever dry off. 

I am really having a good time here, strange to think that I am living here now.  Crazy really.  I still feel really close to my family despite that our computer doesn’t work yet and phone calls are expensive.  I think I could get used to it, just 10 days.  A guy at that  bank asked if I liked it here and I said Yes so far then he said that there are a lot of problems and I said there are a lot of problems in America too.  Then a lady heard us speaking English and said that she wanted to move to America and I remembered all of the space and lack of bars on the houses and windows and I thought…. That would be nice. 

I have to explore a lot of my initial thoughts.

Like Brazil for instance.  I don’t think you could find someone over 30 who hasn’t had a tramatic experience here with bad people.  However there are millions everywhere.  So of course there are gates and bars and ….. I think I may have heard gunshots hopefully firecrackers.  Though were I go I do feel safe.  The busses are fine and the malls are immaculate.  It really feels like a small town.  Rodrigo live here 12 years ago and runs into an old friend daily.  It is really hard to believe but it is happening.  People are really nice too.  However, I am cautious.  I really do need more time here but how long.  I think I will know soon enough.  Right now I don’t want to leave any time soon.  It feels like a time warp.

Today…. A busy day.,Soapbox & A couple of more things.

11.23.2010

Today…. A busy day.

We are still processing documents for my visa and for Rodrigo’s SS# and such.  Today we went to the Federal Police, then the town close by where Rodrigo grew up, then the town where Rodrigo’s battalion was where he served, then to the IRS.  A wild goose chase indeed.  Most places took at least 1 hour and not much got accomplished.  However this really is like anywhere.    The weather is very moist and the temp is in the low 80’s high 70’s and this is nothing.  I take like 3 showers a day cuz I get really sweaty and hot.  We all do, it is a breath of fresh air every time.  I already have a tendency to get a bit greasy in dry climate, so this really is not a perfect fit for me.  However I think all of the people who know me best would be very surprised how I have adapted. 

Then we went to the mall and bought a queen sized bed, and drank beer and ate the most wonderful little apps.  It was meat very tender salted and dried in the sun with the most wonderful root in the world Yucca.  It is like a potato with the texture of a sweet potato but more firm.  It is like rice here a staple.  Most of the time is boiled and served however I have found it amazing fried like big French fries.  I love love love them.  When Rodrigo and I tried out the food business, I now know the direction that he was heading with the pastels.   The place where we had the beer and food tonight was one.  They put anything and everything in them. 

Last night we had tuna and ham pizza, and cheese pizza with guava paste on it.  They like cheese and sweets here.  Oh I am experiencing so much in a day. 

I Did take public transportation for the first time today as well.  Very simple and nice.

Soapbox

Ok, I know we all have different beliefs but I am going to get on a short soap box.

Monsanto

Ever heard about it?  It is an American company that you guessed it decided to produce seeds in Brazil to save in cost.  It is a genetically modified seed that is resistant to pesticides (round up) and to bugs.  I just want you to know that Brazillians make it but they do not buy it.  They do not use these seeds because they do not know what the reprocussions of eating these seeds will be.  I am not an expert however if you see Food, Inc.  you will get a better idea how the Govement forces the farmers to use these seeds.  I met an old highschool friend of Rodriogs who said he knows that it is wrong and he works there.  Please consider buying local and organic just for this reason.  I will let you know however that brazil is green year round and there is so much grass that that cows are grass fed only and it is a huge country so I can understand the demand and climate may be different but feeding using the American people as guinea pigs for profit is something to look at.

By the way. ..  In any case if we stop demanding shit we could make changes.

In Brazil they also use cane sugar in the soda and in everything not High fructose corn syrup.  The government of Brazil will not allow it to be sold to the people either.   Why in America?

Couple of more things.

I was talking with the only English speaking Brazilian I have met so far.  We are talking 4 days of silence for me.  It’s Definitely hard.  It dawned on me that it is possible that we may elect our first Reality TV Star for the President.  Think about this people.  This is crazy.  They (those who bought our goverment) make the people TV Stars and tried to pass them off as candidates. 

Stop the consuming; I know I am a consumptionist.  I know it.  I see it in my thoughts here every day. 

It feels like time stands still here in Brazil.

11.22.2010

It feels like time stands still here in Brazil.  

Days are long and quiet.  Even if you get a lot done, there is time for more stuff.  Now I understand why Rodrigo used to come home for an hour lunch and it looked like it was going to take all day.  I on the other hand ate standing up in the kitchen and it felt like 20 minutes. 

Today Rodrigo is getting his license.  It is taking him a long time.  It’s like going on rides at Disney World.  I can remember standing in lines for an hour to get on a 5 minute ride, so it is like that but the atmosphere is much more boring.  I had Rodrigo’s dad take me to the house as it was quite boring and he was going to move his car anyway.    

You just cant catch a buzz in Brasil....or can you?

11.21.2010

You just cant catch a buzz in Brasil....or can you?

Today is Sunday.  The party started yesterday around 6.  Rodriog’s sisters arrived and we met Tia Reneta for the first time with her boyfriend john.  We drank wine till about 10 when the others arrived at 10.  The thing about Brail is that food is very important but when we eat is not.  We held off dinner until everyone arrived and then we sat at the table and ate at 11:30pm.  After eating you loose your buzz and then you are so stuffed it is impossible to start over.  People drink all day however.  Maybe the country was built around this.  In the morning we had our coffee an bread then around 1pm we started the grill. 

Oh My God MEAT.

11.20.2010

Oh My God MEAT.

 Never tasted such well seasoned meat in my life and the sausage was 100% perfection.  After lunch I slept for like 2 hours.  Bernard had a friend here today and commiunicated really well.  The kids and I are having such a good time.

Alone with my thoughts can be dangerous.

Alone with my thoughts can be dangerous.

Well as you can see above, I did have a great third day.  I woke at 6 went to the Padaria and had 6 hot pao de queijo.   After breakfast Va Marina and I took Bernard to buy  a fish like the one he had in Fort Collins.  He got two.  One named Candy the American fish and one named Secato the Brazilian fish.  Then Bernard wanted to go on a nature walk so we did, our first day out by ourselves.  We went to the pet shop on the corner and ben played with the 4 kittens in the cage.  There we bunnies, guinea pigs, hamsters and rabbits there too.  The kittens were very playful.  Ben had so much fun then we walked into every store close to see what is there.  Everything is very basic and cheap, kind of.  Probably too early to make that statement but most things were.  Then the kids and I hopped into the van with Rodrigo and his father and we went into the city.  Again it was beautiful so much green space and food vendors everywhere.  We bought ben a soccer ball and Gabi a purple bike, cuz they can actually play with them in the house…. However the bike didn’t last 3 peddles, seriously.  So Rodrigo tried to take it back 10 minutes later and they would only exchange it...  that’s fucked, right?

Anyway days are long here, I have never had so much time with nothing to do that finally I got bored and kind of unhappy.  I think cuz I realized I must talk like an idiot.  I to go store.  You want?  Duh duh duh.  I don’t want to be hard on myself but let’s face it I have always been hard on myself.  We eat at 9 so it is like I am always waiting for the end of the day.  Today it felt like… you know that time between 1-4 when you are at work and seems like you are watching the clock.  So when I get bored, in this environment I think.  This can be dangerous.  I tried not to cry but how in the fuck did I get here.  Next thought is…. Oh yea, I did this to myself with lots of preparation.  So, I’ve always considered myself a smart woman… so I will give it a go and believe in myself that this is the best for us now.  Where else would I go, what else would I do?  I don’t want to go back home cuz then I would have to work and I am not ready for that now, I just need to 1^st learn the language and the culture.  Right now I am in a beautiful house with beautiful people (thank god) but from the bars, I can only see the street right in front of me when I look out.  I need a key….

I’m up at 6 am today. & Portuguese!

11.18.2010

I’m up at 6 am today.  

I really woke up to the sound of a dog whining however since Bhellie is on the floor and I am paying more attention with further investigation I am sure it now a bird.  Lots of new sounds here, one is the dogs who at least once a day I hear the sound of them fighting.  I am not sure if it is because they are behind bars in their yard and they see another dog walks by or if they are really out in the streets.  I did get out of the house yesterday for a few trips.  One was to walk around the neighborhood.  Within walking distance there is everything, a  vet, physical therapy, 2-3 mechanic shops, Padaria (where we get our bread each day), drug store, you name it.  It is just like a New York downtown neighborhood.  I see many neighborhoods like in big cities in America.  We went to the mall which was exquisite today.  Movie theatre and a huge Christmas display.   Also there is a walmart.   A very expensive Wal-Mart.  For diapers, shaving cream, tooth brushes, razors, baby powder, soap and wash cost us 90 reis.  This is about 60 us dollars.  I was very surprised.  Now food is not too expensive but products are.  So, I will be watching my consumption.  Eba! 

Portuguese!

Well one thing is for sure, I do sound like a foreigner.  People are great about listening to me even if I sound like an idiot.  In Portuguese like Spanish you can say the words but they are in a different order than in English.  Everything I say is very basic, but I really want to communicate so badly.  Rodrigo called all of the schools in this area yesterday to try to get me in.  I think this is a good move; however I do think you all would be quite impressed with my ability to thumb through this language.  When in Rome….

Where ever you go…. There you are & Anyway today was a new day.

11.17.2010

Where ever you go…. There you are.

By 9pm on the day that I arrived, I was dead tired.   I was tired of thinking and talking in Portuguese.  I realized a couple of things… first I need to sleep, I need my kids with me and I need to do something on a daily basis for me.  

The country is beautiful, Rodrigo’s home is beautiful.  Ceramic tile is unbelievable.  His parents are wonderful.  1^st thing we had lunch when we arrived from the airport.  A traditional beans and rice dish.  It is called Feijoada.   I have had it many times before but never this good.  Dona Marina is an amazing chef.  We ate and drank and I took 3 showers this is because of the moisture in the air.   Always makes you feel sweaty, but it was a great day to arrive.  A cool day for Brasil. 

The kids are good, Gabriela is thriving.  She can go anywhere and I do not worry about her.  The home is simple and not much to touch or pull down.  The animals are a bit stressed.  Because of the weather Casi is extremely content (Texas).  Bhellie (Alaska)however kept me up all night long due to thunder storms.  It was funny because the sky seems closer here.  The storms were very loud and very close.  While not sleeping because of the shaking panicking dog…. I thought I might have taken Bhellie to her hell. 

Anyway today was a new day.

Rodrigo and I had a bit of a spat last night due to the fact I had no idea where anything was and va marina did not want me to do anything but to let her take care of us.  I however haven’t had a day where not only I had nothing to do, but someone doting on me breakfast, lunch and supper.  So, in the morning before the sunrise Rodrigo unpacked all of the boxes for me.  I woke up by noon and was so happy that he listened to how I was feeling.  This makes my day perfect. 

We walked around the neighborhood today.  Had pao de queijo and I ate the whole bag by myself.  I am not sure if you are supposed to eat the whole bag, but I ate it all up.  Little cheese breads.  We bought 2 sodas, liter of water, bag of cheese bread and two big pastries called dream in English all for 6 reis.  Like 3.5 u.s. dollars.  I thought today…. What could I spend my money on, I don’t need anything here.  Just then I walked by a pet shop and saw that dog beds were 50 American dollars…. So never mind.

Never think you are too old to learn something new.

11.16.2010

Never think you are too old to learn something new.

Not sure how I got here, but no doubt here I am, in Brasil.  We are traveling across the ocean to South America to LIVE.  Never put much thought into it …. Truth is if I did I probably wouldn’t have gone.  We have 2 kids under 5, 2 animals over 12 and moving to a world that I married into.  I married my husband 5 months after we met.  This is because we knew we were a perfect match.  Neither of us knew why but luckily as our lives unfolded we were on the same page.  I’d follow him anywhere and he would me.  So here I am. 

It didn’t really start to hit me till we got on the 2^nd flight to Brasil.  This is where I started to see the most beautiful people in the world.  Yes that was one thing I saw… however we were running from the 1^st plane to catch the second then my daughter fell getting on the plane and hit her head…however I was holding 5 little but bulky bags and we had to then walk the length of the hugest plane all the way to the back with her following me crying from the incident.  My son was in front pushing people and then there were the Brazilians who took their time.  1 lady held us up for 3 minutes trying to gently put her stuff in the overhead bins.  I thought …..Oh my god and it begins.  Patients Please!  So of course I was my big bold self and asked here to move.  One of the girls walked the length of the plane to get out of my way which again was so beautiful and so un American.  We finally get to our seat and Gabi now has not only nappy hair but a long scrape and bump on her eye.   Next since the plane is about to pull away from the gate, I have to chase down the stewardess to make sure the animals are on board.  It seems like I was exuding any last effort of control that I could have because it now has become aware to me really where I am heading.   BRASIL.   

I have always had space & Holy Holy Shit!

10.8.10
I have always had Space!

So this is really the first page.  I am in bed thinking, really for the first time about the decion that I had made to go to brasil.  Mind  you, I am writing this almost 8 months after the decision was made to GO. 
Rule #100 Never think too much about big decisions that you have little control over.  Make them, prepare and jump in firmly with both feet.  Rule #101 Deal with the problems as they come fully, honestly and quickly.
I woke up today and drove the kids to "Crapper Barrell" to eat.  Not crapper barrell because it sucks, it is actually our favorite place to eat, but just because I love to change the names of things in a vulger way.  Alway have... dont know what to tell you.  And after eating thoday I was driving back to Fort Collins and it was then when I realized as I was looking at the city... I dont live here anymore.

Now I am at my moms with the kids staying a few days then on to Phoenix to see my sister and her family, then to Oklahoma and back to Phoneix vefore the Big Move.  Brasil?  Yieks!  Holy @#$% ! Really?


Yep.  Its happening and I dont know what to expect.  As for foreign travel it has been Europe, Mexico, Canada and everywhere that the carnival cruise lines will travel... but South America was never on my radar.
Never studied it...Oh, I did suprised myself when I aced the "countries in South Amreica and their Capitals" test.  I remember that like it was yesterday.  Probably cuz I didnt even cheat :).
Now... I am a big ol White Nebraska Girl, probalby more traveled than many but let me say.... I have always had space & things.  Anything I've ever wanted, my own new car at 16, my own room with a queen sized bed, my own space.  I had been given everything and traveled a lot as a kid.  My family was great growing up.  I knew I was loved and my parents wroked hard for everything they had and gave it all to us.  Of course they were crazy too, whos family isnt?  My dad is very relaxed, always walking around in this underwear, hard worker, loves sports, pretty easy going.  He coached all of my Basketball and Softball teams since I was old enough to play.  My mom, well I always thought of her as very powerful and thought she knew everything.  Very spiritual and we could talk for hours, deep conversation.  I am so thankful that she tought me spiritauality.  Never a religious family, thank god!   Where I am going with this is...What will it be like to live in a city crowded with millions of people?  Can I handle the heat & moisture?  The close quarters?  the small beds?  A mother in-law?  Well, keep reading and I quess we will find out together. 

Holy Holy Shit!
Speaking of religion & spirituality, here is my take for what its worth.  We were at the Telluride Bluegrass festival and we saw the funniest sign.... "God, Please protect me from your followers".  I love it.
When I was a kid leaving the nest and living in the Bible Belt of Texas, I would to go to a church once in a while as it made me feel happy but then I would run into the Preachers Daughter.  I guess I was trying to understand my beliefs.  Then the family would have me over for dinner I suppose they just thought I needed a little saving after a brief conversation.  I would tell them of my beliefs and see how it would fit into their world.  I would sit there saying the same things as them but insted of  the Father, the Son & Holy sprirt I would say energy and spririt. Then I would leave quickly and they would say a prayer for me as I bolted out of the door.   Why cant you talk to these people???????  I have always felt apart of a God source and believe the source comes in so many different forms & words.  How can people judge a good person because of the way they say "God"?.

Todays the day!

Im at the airport now, actually went pretty smoothe considering we checked 15 bags and 2 animals.  We will arrive tomorrow in Brasil with lots of family awaiting us.  We just spent 2 days saying goodbye and looks like it will be a week of hello's.