Free your mind and the rest will follow

As I am writing this I am watching “Cougar Town”.  Courtney Cox just said “I want to watch this documentary so that I can be Smart and depressed about the world not dumb and happy like usual”. I think this is the perfect way to start this particular Blog.

So…I recently posted “What’s with us Americans Anyway”.  This particular blog post is about finding a connection with my Brazilian family and the Brazilian culture by understanding how I come across as an America.    In this particular blog I was thinking about common and general characteristics of Americans.  I know not all of the Characteristics will apply to everyone but most of them will.  I have received a couple of interesting comments.  Because both guys posted openly on Facebook I have put their comments below. 

American: who openly wears Obama as Mickey Mouse T-Shirts:

“The problem is not with being from the U.S.A its that you live in a third world socialist country where they hate America because of what we have and yes we are raised to be better than any other country.  I know everyone will think I’m wrong.  If it was not for Americans the whole world would be living in the control of some horrible dictatorship.  Be happy with what you have and quit whining about how bad America is.”

A Brazilian Replied:

 "Excuse me Jill. The more I got into my Facebook and I ran into the unfortunate comment at least your friend. First I would like to say that he is right in saying that Brazil is a Third World Country. More he was mistaken in saying that we are a socialist country. I do not know if you read it, more is known, very few remaining socialist countries in the world, and NO in South America... More you’ll hear this from an American. The majority of Americans think that. They do not seek to know or learn about other countries. They think that in Brazil we speak Spanish and that is the capital Buenos Aires. They think they live in the best country in the world, which are in the spotlight and never mind the other countries and cultures. Here in Brazil, no one hates anyone, much less hated. We are a peaceful nation that soweth peace and not war as the American people. We do not have a government and not an explorer who people think only of profit above everything and everyone. We do not use the machine of government and our money to invade, kill, rape, rob, and plunder other people as you did with Iraq because of Oil. You think you're meant to be the best. Most of you are actually bred to be superfluous and paranoid people who base their lives on consumption and money and think they are better than others, and moreover believe that any movement in the world is against you. Not to mention other things. Read it here, on Facebook that is a showcase for the world was absurd. It shows well what a person or a nation thinks the rest of the world. It is the summary of what Americans think. Or rather they are sure they are better than others. And look, if Americans were not the world would be MUCH BETTER. If it were not for Americans to meddle in others' lives, where they are called to sow discord and war, the world would be a much better place with less violence, less pollution and fewer people with a mind as small and selfish as yours. Stay there in America that is the place of repressed people like you. Hugs"

Of Course I am going to comment now: 

What really comes to mind when I think of what the American wrote is how Insensitive.  This is the nicest way that I can put it because regardless of who is right or wrong, I am glad people are taking the time to comment and to think.  However this is old thinking and this is the thinking that puts people who travel in foreign country’s or even our soldiers who fight in foreign lands at danger (right or wrong).  This thinking not only creates hatred and divides not only Americans but stops our conversation with the rest of the world.  The world is small and every day it gets smaller everyday with the use of the internet, do you want to pick that fight…Really?  This type of thinking works in America with less than half of Americans but not anywhere else.  We may have lived different experiences but who’s to say if one is person happier than another.  Like I said “every country has its thing”.  My life was not better in America, I had more shit and more stress but that is the life I chose.  The life I created there.  I am happy here because I am living a less stressful lifestyle and I am getting the opportunity to be home with my kids.  Will I stay here forever?  I don’t know, never thought I’d live outside of America in the first place.  This was a gift handed to me.  Is it easy?  Living with less stress and less problems is easier, if and when I do go back home I will choose a different lifestyle there too.  For Instance tonight I am having a BBQ with my friends and enjoying great conversation about new things and ideas.  The people here in Brazil are just like my friends at home.  I sometimes can’t tell the difference of where I am and this is even with the language barrier.  I am no doubt proud to be from America but to think you are better than another person or a whole world is just crazy.  Life is not just about getting up every day, going to work, eating dinner, going to bed and doing it all over again.  It is not about just saving for a retirement and then sitting around because you are too scared to go anywhere.  Life is about gaining knowledge and understanding, and it should be about opening your mind. 

In my blog I was considering that maybe relationships are simple, America or Brazil and that I make things too complicated.  I am sure now that it is complicated.  We need to ask ourselves questions if nothing more than as a guide to staying on the right path or for our own conscious.  The American may have been speaking his truth, but it is not that simple. 

Sure America is a great country and their place in the world has been the center of many countries controversies good or bad and a center of many people’s dreams & desires for their lives.   It’s Mickey Mouse’s Home.  But you can’t just stop there.  It is like when your life peaks at 18 and you spend the rest of your life remembering the days when you were great and on top or when you watch football and sit in your favorite chair drinking beer and yelling at the TV about how you would have caught that pass… what is that “Armchair Quarterback”? 

The biggest point that I hope to make today is that Americans are all considered the same to people in foreign countries based on their first impression of what they hear, and how they are treated.  This is why in Europe; Americans are told that it is better to put a Canadian flag on their backpacks. 

Furthermore, I do not share the same opinion as the American commenting on this subject and I am embarrassed by the insensitivity of his remarks as an American.  It was best put by Another American who also made a comment on Facebook. 

“…please don’t think all Americans are like you say.  Some believe the same as you, some are humble and loving; some are not happy with the wars and shedding of blood.  Some just want to live a peaceful, happy life…and wish the same for people all over the world.”

Thanks to everyone for this discussion, it is not easy to talk about but we must. 

 “Free your mind and the Rest will follow”.

Grocery

I was at the supermarket yesterday.  Going to pay at the supermarket sometimes takes longer than it does to pick out all of the stuff that you want to buy especially in the evening.  Suddenly a fight breaks out between a woman and her son and another couple standing in the line behind them.  It was my line.  It was crazy and sad, I had no clue what they were fighting about but the boy and mom were pissed about something.  I didn’t even have time to take my groceries home after that as I had to rush to class. 

Today is Carnival here in Brazil.  Carnival lasts for 4 days.  We are at home today but plan to go tomorrow with the kids and then on Monday Rodrigo and I have a Babysitter.  I will get pictures!

Rules

One of my students added another American trait today.  He said that Americans follow rules.  Then he started talking about the trash on the streets and how we don’t litter much in America.  He said that he knows not to litter because he was educated by the “Scouts”.  I think it is the “Boy Scouts”.   In general the litter problem is a problem and it is not a poor/rich educational divide.  It is in General, It is a public education problem and unfortunately with all of the rain this causes a lot of other problems. 

Jill In Brazil: What is it about us Americans anyway?

Jill In Brazil: Whaht is it about us Americans anyway?: "As you know, I have been on a quest to understand Brazilian Culture. Maybe I have found a simple answer. So, remember that one r..."

What is it about us Americans anyway?

As you know, I have been on a quest to understand Brazilian Culture.  Maybe I have found a simple answer. 

So, remember that one relationship that you had where it wasn’t working out and you tried to find out “why”?  Bothering your friends on a daily basis.  Why do I love him so much but we aren’t getting along, or I can’t understand him, or why hasn’t he called?  As complicated as we try to make it the answer was always simple, right?  In relationships the man isn’t as complicated as we would like to think.  Thinking that its complicated avoids the reality that it just doesn’t work, he just isn’t that into you, right?  If he doesn’t call it’s because he doesn’t want to.  It’s simple. 

Now in Brasil, especially with my new family I have been trying to figure out why I had so much trouble finding my place.  When we all thought about meeting and being together it seemed like a grand Idea.  I thought of them as American in-laws and they were thinking of me as a Brazilian in-law.  The trouble was that when we met our ideas of what we would be like was completely clouded by the reality that we were pretty much strangers.  It was a hard adjustment for everyone really and we are still adjusting.  It wasn’t just that we did not really know each other, but we were also from different worlds. 

Why would this matter?  Honestly, I didn’t think that it would.  I never even thought it would be a challenge.  But on so many levels it was difficult.  The language was difficult; I mean how could one even think about, what it is truly like to be unable to communicate.  I still can’t communicate.  I still cannot be understood fully for what I am saying unless it is superficial, and I just happen to be a person who likes to have deep conversations… can you see the problem.  Maybe is not just Brazilian Culture that I can’t understand but what about the complications of American Culture.  Maybe it was my fault.  My fault for not knowing what being an American really means to someone in another country, and how offensive our behaviors and habits can be.  I don’t say this because we are rude, but because of just how we live and function.

I like to separate myself from people, do you?  I like to think that I do things differently and that I can adapt to any situation based on my different experiences.  Would Americans rather see each other as different rather than the same?  In America, I think we want to stand out and we compare ourselves by our differences.  Why do we spend so much time comparing ourselves to other people?  It is because we are so competitive, we are taught to be competitive.  American life is Competitive. Maybe this is why we don’t just let anyone into our circles right away.  Why it is harder for someone from another country to get around in America personally?

We as Americans define ourselves by our differences so that we can stand out or look better.  We have to sell ourselves all of the time, don’t you think?  So take this to another level, only when talking to Americans, about other Americans can we see differences.  But understand this…. In another country we are all the Same.   Americans in general are not separate, we are considered all the same no matter who you are. 

So, what does it mean to be an American?  It means that we prefer to do things on our own, we live at a fast pace, we work hard to be more & more efficient and get paid to do so, we are always stressed, we like things fast and hate to wait, we live alone, we don’t tell our families everything, most of the time our family doesn’t even know that we left town.  We don’t know everything that happens in all of our cousins lives and we usually only get together on holidays.  There is usually never someone at home during the day and our parents do not usually babysit our children.   We usually live one family per household and we shop a lot as it makes us feel better.

So, in conclusion.  The simple answer is not that we wanted anyone to feel unwelcome or unloved; we were just more different that we could have ever imagined.  I think it will soon be these differences that make us closer than could imagine, but now I understand why all of the men would say said “Be Patient Jill”.   Let’s face it, Men offer a simple approach to relationships.  It is also the fact that maybe it is time for me to see my culture a little clearer and how I am relating to their culture.