I need some music

I need more music, I haven't listened much to “Andrea Bocelli”, but I feel like I need to close my eyes and let the music run through me. I am feeling so grateful and safe. I don’t have a lot of money right now at this time in my life but feel so secure and loved. My sister, Fritz and parents have been so wonderful to me and my kids making us feel so special and loved.

Vegas Baby

Made it to Vegas! So f…ing fun. Yes, we took the kids but did it all. I am not sure why Vegas is my favorite place, I guess just like the little kids….I love the lights. I love the feeling I guess. When we first arrived Ben looked at me and said “Mom, I cant wait to be Amazed”. Both nights we were in bed by 8:30pm. They thought they were up all night. We went swimming, we went to the Adventuredome and let the kids ride all day at “Circus Circus”, went to my favorite nacho place and my favorite beer place and both times the kids were Average in behavior but jacked up on Pepsi, we took pictures with the CocaCola Polar bear, had ice cream, went to Fremont street to look at the lights and hear the music, drove up and down the strip, walked through a few hotels and even caught a buzz… Ben Barends Style. We did Vegas with my dad and it was kickback and low budget fun. Didn’t eat too well, but got all of the specials and we loved it.

Over the many years of doing Vegas, I learned that the best things happen between 10am & 10pm. I would do vegas with the kids any day, they were a blast.

The Birthday Party

Last Saturday was so funny. We went out on a friends 40^th birthday party. We started off eating hibachi, then stood outside of the wrong comedy club watching a line build of people going into a club dressed in S&M. Finally when the 3 girls lined up with tassels over their nipples and no sign of another line for a comedy show that was to begin in 30 minutes we got the call that we were in the wrong place.

So the comedy show.

It was funny in the middle. One of the acts played guitar and made up songs that were so funny. The best was the song that he said he was asked to create and perform for a church comedy show. On the whole it was funny but the funniest part was how uncomfortable all of the religious people in the audience were. He was singing honest versions of some unfortunate religious beliefs that just go with the territory.

So then I have to admit that our friends that were nestled up front were a bit too drunk. It was a bday party so no worries, right? Well the final comic act was a super weird guy. He was a bald guy with glasses who wanted to rap and change lyrics to standard songs. Average on funny. He was also one of those guys who had to have everything perfect or he could not move on. When the music played our friends would wave their hands which made him feel that the audience had their eyes on them and not on him, then he yelled at the sound guys and actually left the stage to get the sound right, then finally told our friend that she was “fucking annoying”…she left then he turned to her husband and said “Your not going to leave, right? Your better than that”. Ok, so regardless if he meant something else, he basically called out the husband who had a few drinks and left him no other choice but to stick up for his wife. And now…we were in the middle of a brawl. “Awkward”!!! My only regret was that I did not get this on video…definitely viral you tube stuff. I mean how many times does that opportunity come along.  It was one to remember.

I feel guilty for having so much fun and worrying about nothing. I miss my hubby so much but I am feeling a little bad that I am not missing Brasil yet. only time will tell.

State of ME

I’m back. Yes, it is great to be back. My sister has an amazing house in an amazing neighborhood and we haven’t run out of things to do yet. The kids are thriving and this gives me peace. Actually we have even been finding it hard to catch up on the time difference. Look here it is 6:30am and I am awake… still 10 days later. We have also had a tough time adjusting to the dryness however it’s a blessing for my skin. The weather in Arizona is warm and cool at night. It is a brisk cool because of how dry it is here. I am just happy that I didn’t just get off the plane in the Colorado winter…that would have been too much.

America was just as I had left her however it is sure that I have changed. Amazingly the first time in 1 year and 2 ½ months, I could hear all of the conversations around me and you know what? I actually didn’t miss that at all. When I began to speak at first I would start to translate, then think no one will understand me anyway but only to realize that I could talk and whatever I was about to say, they understood me. And now… you wouldn’t believe it…I have nothing to say. At first it felt like a struggle even to pick up the phone.

But then my friend K-10 from Alaska drove in to see me last week. She was visiting her mom in Palm Springs and drove to Phoenix. We had a blast, I talked so much the first day that my throat was sore from the dryness. It was so good to catch up and to share on a deep level my experiences in Brasil and still she wanted to know more.

What is it like being home? When I stepped off the plane in the U.S. it was in the morning. This is the time when the business men are traveling. Everyone was equipped with an I pad or laptop, dressed in suits and they all seemed big, tall & important. The smell of cologne and breakfast food was the America that I remember. I am sitting in the land of the best. Where everyone is in a race for the best of everything. It really makes me realize how far Brazil can go and how much money there is to be made in that country. Imagine if America is always maxing it out. When there is a coffee shop on one corner… just give it time and a better one is soon to be on the next. If you have an idea it is done and having ideas are as nerve racking as running the business because time is always of the essence. No matter the state of the economy, America is still the land of opportunity and where “Luck” has only a small factor in your personal destination. Living in Brasil, I was sure that it was all based on luck.

As I said there is not tons of space economically like Brasil, but I can see that the innovation is still alive. Now Brasil, assuming you can get the people to change and be open to new things…the sky is the limit. Everyone who gets into the Brazilian market at the bottom could be on top of the “Pyramid” and only if they begin to let themselves. I don’t mean to compare as if I am not grateful for the mind blowing personal experience and adventure that I have been given, but I do feel at home for the first time in Months. I am more patient, more accepting and have an unusual feeling of personal responsibility. What does that mean? I have no clue, I have always had personal responsibility but in the past I felt it more on the outside and now I feel it inside.